


Will You Still Love Me

by Inrainbowz



Series: On Mortality [3]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, M/M, Mortal Magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 13:35:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8287570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inrainbowz/pseuds/Inrainbowz
Summary: Once it had been Alec at his place in front of the mirror, policing his looks, tracking changes. He had found a silver hair in the mass of dark once and cried. Then he had tried to stop caring.
   Now he didn't have to. But Magnus did. Magnus waits with both impatience and apprehension for his reflection to change.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Mortal!Magnus gives me feels ok sue me. This is pretty short but well, here we go. And yes this entire serie will be titled after songs because I like to use song titles as fanfic titles and that's it that's the reason.
> 
> _Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?_   
>  _Will you still love me when I've got nothing but my aching soul?_

There was always a lot of mirrors in Magnus Bane's Brooklyn loft. It was one of the few things that survived his successive fits of redecoration. Not the mirrors themselves but their general place.

There was two on the door of his dressing room. One inside, to try outfits, and one outside, to check them out. They were full body length, not too ornate. There was another one, usually more styled with the rest of the decoration, near the entrance of the loft, for a last check before heading out. He liked to have some in the corridors too, maybe another one in the living room, on the shelves between the trinkets and books.

Lastly, in the bathroom, there was three: a big one, a magnifying one for make-up purpose, and a brightly lit one above the sink.

Magnus had been standing in front of the sink for hours.

Lately he tended to avoid them as much as he could. He didn't go out that much anyway. He still paid attention to his clothes but carefully avoided looking at his face. He kept his make up to a bare minimum or even magicked it on, something he had never enjoy doing before. He still didn't like it, but it was better than looking at his face. Not because he didn't like what he saw, no. More like because once he started, he couldn't stop.

Which was why he'd been standing there, naked in front of one of the bathroom mirrors, since he had exited the shower hours ago.

And that's how Alec found him, much later when he returned.

.

Magnus was staring at himself. He was unmoving, unblinking. Only his eyes were moving, flying over his features, his eyes, mouth, cheeks, forehead, and then his body, shoulders, torso, arms, studying, assessing.

How the tables had turned, how their roles had been reversed. Once it had been Alec at his place, policing his looks, tracking changes. He had found a silver hair in the mass of dark once and cried. Then he had tried to stop caring.

Now he didn't have to. But Magnus did.

The warlock didn't move when Alec arrived in the room and leaned against the doorframe. He looked at the reflection in the mirror, until Magnus finally crossed Alec's gaze on the polished surface.

"You won't see anything so soon you know," Alec pointed out gently. "It's been merely a few weeks. Change won't be visible. It won't ever be actually. Just, you'll compare old pictures one day, or run into someone you haven't seen in a while, and that’s when it will be obvious."

Magnus nodded but said nothing, going back to his reflected face. It wasn't anything Alec hadn't told him before.

"What if it didn't work?" whispered Magnus. That wasn’t new either.

Alec came behind him to wrap him in his arms. Magnus leaned against his chest with a sigh, hooking his hand on the arms crossed over his chest.

"You know it did. You can feel it. It worked," Alec reminded. Magnus didn't look reassured.

"But what if..."

Magnus didn't go on. He didn't have to. "What if" went all the way. It was enough to make him doubt, enough to scare him.

What if all this turmoil, torment, hope and fear, what if it was all for nothing?

"I understand now, why you were so preoccupied by this..." Magnus joked weakly. "It's so frivolous of me but... I've looked the same for so long and now..."

He lifted a hand to trace the contour of his face, the corner of his eyes and mouth, the ghosts of wrinkles to come.

"You thought you would stay fresh and young forever. You’re only realizing now that you'll become old and grey like the rest of us," Alec said to try to lighten the mood. If anything Magnus looked even more distressed.

"And I... I made you believe I would always look the same too," Magnus added quietly, almost to himself. Their eyes met again. Alec frowned, confused.

"You always told me you'd love me no matter what, and no matter what I looked like. Don’t you think I can do the same for you?" Alec questioned, and there was a trace of hurt in his voice.

"You weren't supposed to," Magnus tried weakly. It wasn't the right thing to say.

Alec was split between anger and sadness, confused and lost by what he was hearing.

"Magnus," he said tone serious, if disbelieving, "do you... are you afraid I'll... what, I'll leave you? After all we've been through, for this?"

Magnus let out a sad laugh.

"Now you know how absurd you sounded to me back then."

That had the merit to calm Alec's rising anger immediately. Magnus was right, he was no stranger to doubts and insecurities, huge and all-consuming not matter how unfounded they might be. Magnus had helped him a lot, by comforting him, time and time again, repeating the same things over and over, until his worries were quieted by his words.

It was his turn now.

Alec took a deep breath. He wasn't good with words, had never been. He wasn't sure what he had to say, but he knew pretty well what he had needed to hear, still did today, sometimes. Magnus needed him now, to find the right words, to reassure him.

"Okay. Okay. You listen to me then. I'll tell you now, and I'll tell you again, as many times as you need to hear it. I love you. I really, really do. I'm so glad I met you. I'm glad we gave ourselves a chance or three and I intend, with all my will and power, to keep loving you as long as I can. And all that we shared and share still, all we are and all I want us to be, it has nothing to do with your looks. Even how beautiful I think you are has little to do with that. You're beautiful because I love you, not the other way around. And as long as I love you, you will always be."

Magnus had closed his eyes and Alec suspected he was trying to fight off tears. He couldn't blame him – he felt pretty vulnerable himself. He would never have thought supporting Magnus through this would bring so much out of the both of them. Alec was surer everyday that they would get through this, they would get through everything.

"Do you believe me?" he asked in Magnus's ear, tightening his embrace to hold him together. Magnus opened his eyes, unglamoured, to stare into his own. He finally smiled, a small, weak, wavering smile, but a smile nonetheless.

"I will."

It was all they could hope for, for now.

.

Alec went to the kitchen, were Magnus was cooking dinner, to kiss him hello. The warlock turned to face him, smiling softly, but when he tried to get closer Alec stopped him, frowning.

“What? What is it?” Magnus asked confused.

Alec let out a short laugh and rested a hand on the side of Magnus’s head.

“You have a white hair,” he chuckled, delighted.

Magnus’s lips stretched into a huge smile.  

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, next one will be called The One That Got Away if you're interested (and the next one I Bet My Life, probably). 
> 
> I'm there on [tumblr](http://inrainbowz.tumblr.com) and I love you all, bye!


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